Solo Parenting

I've been thinking about solo parenting since yesterday was Mother's Day. There are times I wish Layne was still here. I liked it better when he was here to take care of some of the responsibilities. Life was easier. But, I guess that's not the point of this life. It works so much better when a team is working together than just having one person doing it all. I'm still able to find joy in my experiences. I think my biggest thing (besides missing him) is doing it all on my own. And when I say all...I mean all. I'm not just referring to the specifics of being a parent. Although, that certainly feels like enough in itself.

Overwhelm

This morning I was thinking about overwhelm. I have spent most of my life in the overwhelm mode when it comes to getting things done. I wonder why when Heavenly Father knows this - he still let life happen. Layne is gone and two things have happened. The first is that the guy that picked up all my slack is no longer here. The other thing is that I now have more to do. The stewardship we shared together are now mine...along with all of the things that I was in charge of for myself. So, I have more to do and less help. I feel like I'm in overwhelm even more than I have ever been. I miss him. Obviously, I miss that my husband isn't here. In addition to that - I miss the guy that helped with getting things done. It's been 3.5 years and I still don't know how to get everything done.

There must be a reason. I just don't know what that is yet. I know my heavenly parents wouldn't just leave me stranded. Maybe they decided I needed to make it on my own or I wouldn't be able to learn how to not feel the overwhelm. I just feel at a loss as to how to make it work. I don't know what I'm doing. I have been working on this issue for as long as I have been old enough to realize it was a concern.

First Snow

Today is our first snow fall of the year. My youngest, who is twelve, came into my room to tell me about it. She was thrilled. I was looking through the window later thinking about how it was the first snow of the year and all of the sudden realized something. I never pruned the rose bushes in back. Hmm...too late now.
It seems like that's how things seem to go around here. There's quite often something that hasn't been done quite yet. There's always something else to do. I guess it's really that the tasks are never ending. This is the life of one that is doing the solo parenting thing.