First Snow

Today is our first snow fall of the year. My youngest, who is twelve, came into my room to tell me about it. She was thrilled. I was looking through the window later thinking about how it was the first snow of the year and all of the sudden realized something. I never pruned the rose bushes in back. Hmm...too late now.
It seems like that's how things seem to go around here. There's quite often something that hasn't been done quite yet. There's always something else to do. I guess it's really that the tasks are never ending. This is the life of one that is doing the solo parenting thing.

Growing Pains

I just dropped Megan off at volleyball. I was driving out of the parking lot and saw what looked like a family heading toward the gym. The teen girl was joking around with her dad and he put his arm around her. I had the thought: Megan doesn't have a dad to do that with...
I had tears come to my eyes. It hurts sometimes to know that my kids are growing up without a dad. They will go throughout their adult lives - without a dad. Rachel was just nine when he died. I realized as I drove home that I need to do more to help the kids remember their dad. Another thing to work on.:}
It makes it harder to know that Layne would love to be here. He felt a great responsibility in being a father. It was so important to him. I'm sure it still is. It's not like he's all of the sudden not their father anymore. He will always be. He just has to be somewhere else right now. I'm sure he thinks about them and wants the best for them. I would guess he even prays for them. Then there's the whole other topic of whether he thinks I'm doing a good job or not. Ugh. There are so many times I feel like I disappoint him.