Remembering With Music

This morning I heard a song that made me think of Layne. I wish he was still around. I'm not even sure what that would look like at this point. I have forgotten what it's like to have Layne be a part of my daily life. I was grateful for the song. It was a reminder of some of the happy things about our lives. I'm thankful music helps me to understand and feel. It seemed Layne wasn't very far away when I was listening to the song. I know he wants to help. I haven't really felt him around much lately. Well, for the past couple of years it seems. In general, he seemed to be there at first and then he  didn't. Maybe today was his way of letting me know he's still around - I just need to be more aware.

Scents

Just yesterday, I was in the locker room at the local rec center and smelled the strong scent of someone else's soap. For some reason, it made me think of what Layne used to use. I realized I'm not really sure what it's like to know the 'smell of Layne' anymore. I don't know if that sounds odd. But, I don't really remember what he smelled like. I remember I always liked snuggling in. I remember he had a hard time with scents - so, he didn't wear cologne and I never wore perfume. I was fine with that. I was never really in the habit anyway. One less thing to think about/purchase. I also remember he would tell me I smelled good or times he would randomly move in close and smell my hair. So, no perfume, just long hair that smelled 'good'. I guess everyone has their thing.
As I was thinking about the scent of things...I also realized that just a week or so before that...I had something else trigger a thought that I don't remember what it feels like to kiss Layne. I don't remember how the physical closeness felt. Hmm...sounds kind of lonely.