Remembering With Music

This morning I heard a song that made me think of Layne. I wish he was still around. I'm not even sure what that would look like at this point. I have forgotten what it's like to have Layne be a part of my daily life. I was grateful for the song. It was a reminder of some of the happy things about our lives. I'm thankful music helps me to understand and feel. It seemed Layne wasn't very far away when I was listening to the song. I know he wants to help. I haven't really felt him around much lately. Well, for the past couple of years it seems. In general, he seemed to be there at first and then he  didn't. Maybe today was his way of letting me know he's still around - I just need to be more aware.

Not Enough

I might have bawled the first time I watched this video. The song is beautiful. The story gets to me. I still cry at the end...every time. I can relate to the couple. Although, there are times I watch and wish Layne and I had done better with the daily, "I'm thinking of you.", acts of thoughtfulness. There are also times I cry a little more because this couple had longer than we did. Their kids were grown. I know that doesn't make it any easier and it means that this man is now living on his own. There are pros and cons to everything. I guess anytime your spouse dies before you want them to...I can't think of when that doesn't apply. So, maybe I'll just say whenever your spouse dies before you do, you're going to wish they were still there and you miss them. I miss Layne. Our time was not enough. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Maybe at some point I'll feel like forever is enough.