Family Testimony Meeting

We had a family testimony meeting tonight. The girls and I have been working on the Faith value in Personal Progress. One of the topics is the atonement. Part of the requirement is to share your testimony in a sacrament meeting. I did that this morning. The girls weren't quite comfortable doing so...so, we did a family testimony meeting instead. It worked fine. Rachel had just given a talk a couple of weeks ago and so when she showed hesitation about getting up in sacrament meeting I told her we could do it another way. Megan decided that would work best for her too.
I shared that long explanation just to share what Megan told us in her testimony. She said she had an experience this morning during her prayers. She asked about her dad and wondered if he was still proud of her. I think she just wanted to know if he was still aware of her. Whatever her experience was - she told us that she now knows that he is proud of her and loves her...and that it's the same for the rest of the family. I'm so glad she was able to have that witness. I'm so grateful to know that Layne still exists. I know he still helps when he can and that he is busy. I don't know what else he does. But, I am so thankful that he took the time to let his daughter know that he was proud of her and loved her. I'm thankful that he was able to do that and that she asked and was willing to listen.

Growing Pains

I just dropped Megan off at volleyball. I was driving out of the parking lot and saw what looked like a family heading toward the gym. The teen girl was joking around with her dad and he put his arm around her. I had the thought: Megan doesn't have a dad to do that with...
I had tears come to my eyes. It hurts sometimes to know that my kids are growing up without a dad. They will go throughout their adult lives - without a dad. Rachel was just nine when he died. I realized as I drove home that I need to do more to help the kids remember their dad. Another thing to work on.:}
It makes it harder to know that Layne would love to be here. He felt a great responsibility in being a father. It was so important to him. I'm sure it still is. It's not like he's all of the sudden not their father anymore. He will always be. He just has to be somewhere else right now. I'm sure he thinks about them and wants the best for them. I would guess he even prays for them. Then there's the whole other topic of whether he thinks I'm doing a good job or not. Ugh. There are so many times I feel like I disappoint him.