Figuring It Out

I'm starting to look beyond just getting through the day. At first, I was just trying to let myself work through the grief. I told myself that I would give myself the first year to just be. I wouldn't try to ignore the grief, I wouldn't make any big decisions, I would help my kids process. It's been over a year and I'm attempting to wrap my head around the long term. Decades feels like a long time to be without my husband. I still can't picture what the future will look like without him. I need to somehow come up with something. Something that will help me 'see' what direction I need to go. Something that will guide me toward what I need to be doing. I want to be able to be sufficient...and efficient on my own. I want to be able to contribute. I know I need to figure out something for income. I'm one of those crazy people that never really had a dream of wanting to be a certain something when I 'grew up'. I know some things that I like to do and I know a few things that I'm capable of doing. It's a matter of figuring out how to make that happen in a way that will bring in funds.:} Or, maybe I do something completely different - either way, I need to be making some decisions.