Figuring It Out

I'm starting to look beyond just getting through the day. At first, I was just trying to let myself work through the grief. I told myself that I would give myself the first year to just be. I wouldn't try to ignore the grief, I wouldn't make any big decisions, I would help my kids process. It's been over a year and I'm attempting to wrap my head around the long term. Decades feels like a long time to be without my husband. I still can't picture what the future will look like without him. I need to somehow come up with something. Something that will help me 'see' what direction I need to go. Something that will guide me toward what I need to be doing. I want to be able to be sufficient...and efficient on my own. I want to be able to contribute. I know I need to figure out something for income. I'm one of those crazy people that never really had a dream of wanting to be a certain something when I 'grew up'. I know some things that I like to do and I know a few things that I'm capable of doing. It's a matter of figuring out how to make that happen in a way that will bring in funds.:} Or, maybe I do something completely different - either way, I need to be making some decisions.

Published (1)

I have 46 posts. One has been published. There are 45 drafts. Umm...how did that happen? I guess I better get busy writing more, editing, and publishing. I knew there were a 'few' to write up - but, seriously didn't know it was so pathetic.

Marking Time

Missing Layne this Christmas. It's the second one we've spent without him. It just feels different. Today marks fifteen months since the day he passed away. A few tears have found their way to the surface on this winter day. I don't know if it's because of the amount of time marked...or the Christmas season. But, today seems to be when I'm feeling it this year - at least so far - not sure what the next few days will bring. I'm hoping I'll be able to focus on loved ones that are here. It also brings me hope to know that I can focus on the Savior and that He is the reason I know I'll be able to see Layne again. I'm looking forward to the day of our reunion.